The Devil in Church

Gately Green

The law are at the house this morning. Mama was making us breakfast and they showed up saying I have to go with them. 

Mama starts squallin’ and begging for them not to take me or to let her get dressed and go too. I stand up right fast when Bubba Doogan pushes Mama down on the chair at the kitchen table. 

Bubba and me went to school together and he always was bullying me.

“We can handle the big retard, Ma’am.” Bubba laughs at Mama. 

“Don’t ppp..ush my my my Mama, Bubba.” I stutter bad cause he makin’ me mad.

“You sassin’ me T-T-T-Timmy?” Bubba spits tobacco chew on my breakfast plate. 

His daddy is the sheriff. Folks say for as calm as the sheriff is his son is mean as a snake.  

I hug Mama and leave the house with them. Mama stands in her housecoat hollering in the dust thrown up by the sheriff car. 

Bubba spits in a paper cup while Orvy drives the car. Orvy is older than me and Bubba. He and his wife go to the same church as me and Mama. My daddy was good friends with Mr. Orville, Orvy’s dad. 

Orvy always stuck up for me at school. He’s always been a good sort, and the other youngins liked him when we were growing up. They’d listen when he told them to let up off me.

I want to ask Orvy what’s going on, I’m startin’ to get scared.

Bubba makes a loud noise as he spits again “I always knew you were dumb, but I never thought you’d be a pervert.” He turns around to look at me.

Pervert? I know that word and I ain’t one. A long time ago I heard Mama speaking all quiet and angry to Daddy.

 “She said he was just staring at her like some pervert. I know that old bitty ain’t nothing but a miserable busybody, but I won’t have no one saying our Timmy is a pervert.”

At the time I didn’t want to be anything that made Mama so upset. The next day Daddy took me with him squirrel hunting. We sat by the creek in the woods behind the old horse pasture, my favorite place. 

Daddy put his rifle across his legs and used his serious voice, so I knew it was important. He told me “Timmy, God made you innocent, like a lamb that don’t know it’s looking at a wolf. Your mind is a pure mind, like the angels. You a good boy Timmy.” Daddy said nice things but looked real sad, it made me want to cry. 

“You still about to be a man Timmy, and men ain’t pure minded and their bodies rather listen to the devil than Jesus. When your body wants you to do things that make you feel strange or to another person, you need to pray. Take a shower, wash it away and pray.”

Daddy has been gone one year, nine months, and so many days. Mama tells me every morning how long it’s been. 

June 21, 1957, he never came home. Mama told me that was the longest day of the year when I had asked her where he was. She said he was probably working a long day, like the sun was. But he had already been kilt by that paper mill machine long before the sun even went down. Mama screamed then like she had today. 

Bubba laughs “I should have known, the way you’d stare at everyone you were thinking fucked up shit.”

“Knock it off Bubba.” Orvy’s voice is low, but he sounds mad.

Bubba make a face like I smell bad. “To think the last thing that little girl saw was your mongoloid face.”

“He ain’t a mongoloid Bubba.”

“Well he didn’t get beyond the fifth grade Orvy.”

“I didn’t think you did either.” 

I laugh at Orvy pickin’ on Bubba. Then next thing I know Bubba punches me square in my jaw. 

“Damnit Bubba, your Pa being Sheriff or not you can’t be doing that. We don’t know everything yet.”

I wipe the tears off my cheeks and Orvy looks at me in the rearview mirror. 

“You okay Timmy?”

I nod my head without answering and look out the window.

“We will be at the courthouse soon, being its Saturday, won’t be many folks about. It’s closed.” Orvy tells me but I don’t want to look at him, cause I’m cryin’.

Everybody is looking in the back of the sheriff car, at me, when we drive through the middle of town. 

I wave at Mr. Fred, my boss at the feed store. He don’t wave back, he just looks mad. Everybody that sees me looks mad, lots are pointin’ at me. 

I sink down in the seat and wipe my nose on my sleeve, one of Daddy’s old shirts.

“Shit.” Orvy cusses as he parks the car at the back of the court house. There’s a lot of people around, on the sidewalks too. I hear them hollerin’ and calling me names. 

“Timmy, look at me.” Orvy talks to me all quiet.

I dry my face and look at him. 

“Timmy, I ain’t gonna cuff you cause you gonna stay right next to me. Don’t say nothing to none of these people.”

“Th..th..they they’s mad at me?”

Bubba pushes fresh tobacco into his lip. “No shit retard, you a pervert baby killer.”

“Bubba, me and you going to have words later.” Orvy looks ready to sock him. “Get out and keep your fat mouth quiet too.”

“I..I..I.. ain’t hurt no no no baby Or..Or..Orvy.”

Orvy nods. “We gonna talk about all that Timmy, but first we need to get inside and away from this mob, they are ready to explode, I need you to do what I tell ya.”

“I w..w..w…will Or..Or..Orvy.”

Bubba and Orvy get out and tell the people to get back before they pull me out. I can’t hardly walk I’m so scared. Bubba yanks and squeezes my arm tight but Orvy just pulls me a little while we walk up the stairs.

I always seen the jail on top the courthouse, I never thought I’d be sitting in it. I don’t like it in here at all. I want to go home to Mama. I didn’t kill no baby and I remember what Daddy said about not being a pervert. I ain’t hurt nobody. 

I am crying again when Bubba’s daddy, the sheriff come to the cell.

“Hi there Timmy.”

“Sssheriff Doogan.” I wipe my face again.

“Timmy, you know what the difference is between truth and lying?”

“Yes sssir.”

“Good, I need you to tell me the truth now.”

“All all alright.”

“You cut the grass for the church Timmy?”

I nod my head that I do. “Since I was four..four..fourteen.” Our house is behind the churchyard. Daddy said it was a good deed, so I do it.

“When was you last in the shed behind the church house?”

“Last ssssaturday before church. I..I..I had to rake some leaves but I put everything back where it go.”

“You go to the churchyard last night?”

“No..no sir. I go to church tomorrow with Mama. I mow the grass two week apart for now until it gets hotter Sssheriff.”

The sheriff look at me a long time through the bars and I think he frozen till he blinks.

“Timmy. You know the Nolan girl? Little Tammy Nolan.”

“Yes sssir. Her Mama been sick. The preacher, Brother Edwin bring little Tammy to church. Sometime she sit next to Mama and me, on our pew. Mama took me to fix things about the the the house since Mr. Nolan died in Korea. I work wwwhile Mama visit with Mrs. Nolan.”

“You ever been alone with little Tammy?”

“Alone? No sir! Mama sssaid nnnnooot be alone with no no no one small, parents don’t like it. I by myself a lot.” 

I feel my hands getting all sweaty. When I was fixing Mrs. Nolan’s roof Tammy jabber on at the foot of the ladder. I thought cause I was high in the air it was alright to talk to her, maybe it wasn’t. 

One time in church she sat next to me instead of Mama. I was listening to Brother Edwin preachin’ when Tammy held my hand. I pulled my hand away and then she touched my leg and put her head on my arm. Mama whisper for her to come sit in her lap. Tammy cried then but didn’t make no noise leanin’ against Mama. She fell asleep while Mama played with her curly hair. 

“Sherriff. I have come to pray with Brother Timmy.” Preacher Edwin is by the jail bars with his bible under his arm.

“You going to behave yourself if I let Brother Edwin in there with you Timmy?

“Y..y..yes sssir.”

Brother Edwin smiles at me then pats the sheriff on the back “Me and Timmy know each other. I prayed with him when his Daddy passed. We gonna be just fine, just fine.”

When we are by ourselves Brother Edwin sits next to me on the uncomfortable bed. He puts his hand on my back, tell me to bow my head so we can talk to Jesus. 

He ask God to help me see the light and speak truth. He ask Jesus to send the devil who found his way in me away.

I get all nervous thinking about Bubba callin’ me pervert and Daddy sayin’ that the Devil get in man bodies. I’m twenty-three, Mama said I been a man for a while. 

Anytime I looked at the pretty girls too long and feel funny I pray to Jesus and feel better. If my man-body still lookin’ to let the Devil in, I pray harder and have a shower or bath like Daddy said. I never thought the Devil got inside a me. 

Brother Edwin grabs my neck and I almost jump off the little bed.

“I saw you sitting with her. That little Tammy was the Whore of Babylon in the flesh.” He squeezes my neck tighter I want to scream but I am scareder than I ever been.

“The way she couldn’t keep her modesty, keep herself covered during the Sunday worship service. She was teasing me from the second pew, exposing herself to me in those little dresses. She may have worn bobby socks and patent leather shoes but she was a temptress sent from Hell. Sent to lead me astray.” He breaths out real hard like he just ran real far real fast.

“I saw her touch you, that’s how it all starts, then the Devil is in you. Next her pouty red mouth will be in places on you a little girl has no place being. But she will be placed there, by the Devil in you.”

I scared to breathe. Brother Edwin’s voice is soft but his words are all mean. I try to pull off his hand pinchin’ on my neck.

“See, that’s why you had to kill her and put her in the shed. The Devil in you had gone too far. Now she’s gone, no other devil can get inside you again Timmy.”

“I…I…I I ain’t nnnevver hurt nobody.”

“Shhh Timmy, that’s the Devil talking, he don’t want you to remember how you freed that girl’s soul. You sent the Devil away from her. Now she’s in heaven, she’s a little innocent girl again, sitting in the arms of Jesus.”

I think of Tammy sleeping against Jesus like Mama in church and I cry real hard.

“T…T…Tammy dead?”

“She’s free. You just have to tell the Sheriff the truth. Tell him how you saved Tammy’s soul and he will let you go home to your Mama. Probably in time for dinner. I’m sure she’s worried about you.”

“I..I..I can go home?”

Brother Edwin rubs my back and gives me his handkerchief. “The truth will set you free son.” He stands up goes to the bars and hollers for the Sheriff. “Remember God knows all even if you don’t.”

I stand at the bars for a long time waitin’ for the sheriff to come back before I sit on the bed again. It’s getting dark and I think I missed supper. I want to go home. I keep thinking about Mama cryin’ and hollerin’ when they took me away. 

I feel sad little Tammy had a devil in her makin’ her do bad things. Maybe she was too small to know how to pray when she didn’t feel right.

It’s getting loud outside. I can hear people yellin’ but don’t know what they exactly sayin’.

“Timmy.” Bubba whispers makin’ me look up. “Come on, I’m gonna take you home.” 

I jump up and almost run to the door. 

Bubba puts his finger to his mouth “Shhh, you got to be quiet. Don’t make no noise.”

Bubba take me down different stairs, all the way down till we standin’ in the dark lobby of the courthouse. Through the doors and windows in the front I can see lots of firelights and what look like the whole town. 

Bubba grab my elbow, open the front door and push me out. I am standin’ top the courthouse steps. 

“There he is.” Someone yells and lots of folks start grabbin’ on me.

“Bubba sssaid I I I gonna go home.” 

“You ain’t going nowhere but to Hell.” 

I think someone kicks me in the back cause I can’t breathe. 

“You ask God for forgiveness, retard.” 

I can’t talk cause of my stutter and my cryin’. Something scratchy is put round my neck and pulled tight.

“Let him go!” I hear Orvy but nobody payin’ him any mind.

“Mama! I want to go home” I scream. 

Orvy pushes through the townfolks and reach out to me. He look scared as me. I try to grab his hand but only catch his fingers. “I never had the Devil in me Or Or Orvy. Brother Ed-”

 I’m snatched away by my neck and can’t talk no more. They draggin’ me down the street. I kick tryin’ to catch a breath. I’m real scared, I hurt real bad. I fight until I can’t no more. 

Little by little all the hollerin’ and angry folk go quiet and I feel nothin’ just like when I floatin’ in the creek. 

“Timmy. Come on. This way.” Daddy calls me, and I follow.